Island Retreat

We have read the story of Kensuke’s Kingdom, this was about Michael who was swept ashore a desert island where he met Kensuke, a Japanese war veteran.
For your homework I would like you to write a descriptive paragaph (or 2) about the island. Talk about what it looked, smelt, sounded like. What could you hear?

53 thoughts on “Island Retreat”

  1. On Kensuke’s island it was sunny, has trees and the only animals are the gibons.
    The trees have got red bananas RED BANANAS!The oceon is full of jellyfish beware some are poisonous.You can smell the nice hottest,dryest most freashest air you’ve ever smelled.WARNING: hunters come to raid the island so be careful.

    Reply
    • * Mentioning the red bananas was an interesting move Graham, you can sometimes buy them in supermarkets, look out for them.
      * Using capital letters for the word WARNING tells the reader that it’s an important word.
      W I expect you to write more than this, talk about what you can hear and see, let your imagination run riot.

      Reply
  2. I have been washed up on an island. I keep hearing rustling noises coming from the bushes and the waves of the sapphire ocean keep screaming as they crash against the rocky wall. I can smell the lovely fragrance or the flowers and the good old fish and chips. It’s really horrible and creepy. Slowly turning around, i checked if there was anyone there but there wasn’t. Maybe i’m just hearing things. I’m alone. Nobody here and i’m alone. It feels like i have just been dumped on this island with no food or water! I am shivering and my teeth are chattering against one another. I am waiting for my parents to come. But will they come?

    Reply
    • There are lots of great things about this writing Molly.
      * I like the way you’ve used a 2 word sentence, it’s very effective.
      * Your use of a rhetorical question at the end is a way of getting the reader to think about what will happen if the parents don’t come.
      W Try to re-order some of your sentences so that they don’t always start with the noun.

      Reply
  3. The admirable island was full of adorable flowers.It had a fragrant of juicy berries, all sorts of them. Many of them were Strawberries and Blueberries. I could hear birds tweeting, Monkeys laughing and Kangaroo’s hopping. I could sense that there wasn’t only animals on the island. There were puddles of fruit juice everywhere. There was also something that I like to call a jungle on the island. Inside the green jungle were trees but to tall to climb. Peering, I could see two Monkeys battling it out for a banana. Quickly I ran, I could see yellow Daffodils, red Roses and white Buttercups. I heard howling. It was as loud as an explosion. But out of everything here that was the thing that seemed weird.

    Reply
    • Excellent account of the island Rohan.
      * I like the alliteration – admirable/adorable.
      * ‘Puddles of fruit juice’ is a superb phrase.
      W Check that you haven’t used capital letters where they shouldn’t go (Monkeys, Kangaroos)

      Reply
  4. The Island is wonderful,just fantastic words to describe it…I felt the smooth,silky,hot sand in my fingers.It was just so relaxable,There were no food well,only if i actually looked.I Was sitting gracefully as i let my head dribble,and drop onto the hot sand.I Could see the bue,saphire,gorgeous sea crashing swifty against the rocks.It was so peacful and beautiful.I could hear the seagles singing and muttering passing by in the sky.There i was waiting for the next step..However,after 15 more minutes i was still sat here twiggling my thumbs.It was annoying me now.Wouldn’t it annoy you?The waves crashing and clapping,seages muttering.Therefore,even worse sand bursting horridly in my hair,and eyes.I Stood up and fell back down.Sweat was running quickly down my face.It was like i had just jumped in my shower.But,then i Seen a boat!… Thankyou 🙂

    Reply
    • * I like your use of adverbs.
      * You’ve used ellipsis, well done.
      W) Check that your sentences make sense, some of the words you’ve used aren’t necessary.

      Reply
  5. Today the sun is shinging high in the sky on the emererled grass I am kensuke and this is my story. Today I was On the old,dusty boat not anyone around no food nothing all I want is my crazy family who always laugh at me.My life isn’t okay now it’s just (thinking) “oh yeah terrible “I shouted to myself in my head. It looked so small but I knew it wasn’t it smelly like banannas.

    Reply
    • * I like your adverbial phrase ‘shining high in the sky’, it creates an image in the reader’s mind.
      * You made the reader realise how desperate you were when you said ‘ all I want is my crazy family’.
      W) Have you described the island through each of your senses? What was it like to see, smell, touch, hear?

      Reply
  6. i was strolling along the sun-golden sand and the loud disterbing sound of funky gibbons swinging from tree to tree slowly crept into my ears,the smell of the blue salty se crawled up my nostrils and to my brain.
    i could see the dolphins jumping above the sea surface and back into the water again the sight was magical.

    Reply
    • * Excellent description Anya.
      * I like your choice of verbs, eg strolling
      w) You need to check your use of capital letters, you’ve missed out quite a few.

      Reply
  7. I can smell the fresh air of the soggy sand I could see the beautifull things flying by me in emotion I said “I wish I could fly” I always emotionly thought to my self.
    I could hear my heart beating fast in depresion in couragement hoping that someone would find me soon.

    Reply
    • * You’ve tried hard to use emotive language.
      * I like the way you’ve talked about how your body has reacted to what you’ve seen.
      W) Check your use of punctuation, you need to think about breaking your longer sentences up by using commas.

      Reply
  8. The story i have just read was Adolfers Tips is a brillant story if you read it you will want to read it over agian it is about the world war 2 i loved reading it so much the arther is so good. He has lots of books as soon as i saw the front cover i was really intrested i wanted to read it as soon as possible. Michel Mopergay is now my best arther after i read his book. It’s the best book ever

    Reply
    • You’ve used some good ideas Shakila but have you answered the question that I asked. You were asked to describe the island?

      Reply
  9. The island is brilliant it is warm,fun and there are many more ways to describe it.The sand is beautiful and golden and when you lie down on it it feels like you are slowly moulding into it.On the island i am not alone because when i first arrived i heard a mans voice say wecome to my island and then he suddenly appeared from the darkness.On the island you can constantly hear the Elephants and the Gibbon monkeys.When you are walking around the island you contantly see lots of sticks so i made a great big stash of them and then made a fire.Whilst the fire was burning all you could smell was smoke all you could see was smoke and all you could hear was crackling but i finally got saved from the island. 🙂

    Reply
    • Great writing Hayden.
      * I like where you say you were moulding into the sand.
      * You’ve written a really good description of the fire.
      w) Remember to use an apostrophe when something belongs to someone, eg. Man’s hat.

      Reply
  10. The island was a golden haven. The red bananas tasted chocolaty and silky.It hardly ever rained cats and dogs because it was exactly on the equator! The sand felt as silky as a galaxy chocolate bar! The gentle waves lapped onto the shore washing out my marks I had made. Slowly the gibbons sing and swing from tree to tree. I love it on the island,it’s haven for me.

    Reply
    • Excellently written Mckenzie.
      * I like the idiom you used.
      * You’ve used a great simile.
      w) Could you have included a rhetorical question?

      Reply
  11. I was washed up in a very weard island then I sniffed somthing fishy.I thought that their was sombody else on the island.Shining high in the sky their was a fishy smell it looked like a person or a living thing.I could see my reflection in the sea extradenry a weard man approched me.”AAAAAAHHHHHH WHO ARE YOU!”
    When he approched me I thought who is this man he is so ugly.Then I saw lots of chinpanzes.It sounded like a war vetron has crashed on a boat.It sounded like somthing bounced on the floor because I hurd it.

    Reply
    • * I like the way you said you were washed up on the island Thomas.
      * Another good part was when you used capital letters to suggest those words were spoken.
      W) Remember to include some subordinate clauses in your longer sentences.

      Reply
  12. You could hear the sapphire blue sea sweeping across the silky sand. Swaying of the trees made sounds of whispers. The sun rays found their way through the leaves of trees and shone like Diamonds on the sand. There in the clearing were an old fishing boat, broken and battered. Slowly but confidently the orangutangs took their turns to swing through the branches of the trees. The air was filled with saltiness and freshness from the sea. On this island it is haven for the peaceful animals that live here for there is lovely red bananas that taste like a Milky way chocolate bar.

    Reply
    • Amazing writing Elliot, well done.
      * I love the way you have used alliteration, especially as it starts with ‘s’ which made me think of the noise of the sea.
      * The way you have used an adjective pair to describe the suns rays is very effective.
      W) Check your use of was/were, is/are, some of them aren’t accurate.

      Reply
  13. the sand is smooth as a piece of silk and the pine trees are very spiky its like a niddle
    the sun is smiling at me the smell is fresh all you can smell is the fresh air . The sun is as bright as a light bulb and the sand is as dry as paper all the birds are singing to me in a nice tweeting vioce . The sea is swaing side to side.

    Reply
    • * I like the way you have used similes in your description.
      * The way you have said that the sun is smiling at you makes it seem a nice place to be.
      W) You need to make sure that you haven’t missed any capital letters out.

      Reply
  14. Slowly regaining my senses,I could hear the gentle slapping of waves climbing up the rough, ragged rocks.As I moved from my slump, the cool breeze flapped around my face like a fluttering butterfly. This stunning but abandoned island looked familiar to me.”Well at least I thought it was abandoned”Looking around I could see bright green,emerald palm trees alive and rustling.
    “What could be in there?”Suddenly an orange, furry object swung tree to tree and filled my ears with a screeching noise.While investigating my new surroundings extremely carefully, I came across the sensational smell of mango’s and pineapple’s this made my stomach rumble loudly.” Where was I , what was I doing here and how was I going to get back home?”

    Reply
    • * I love the way you have reordered some of your sentences so that they start in a range of interesting ways.
      * You’ve used very effective personification and alliteration.
      W) Next tine try to include a rhetorical question too.

      Reply
  15. I glanced across he island looking for someone, nobody was anywhere to be seen. All I could see was huge trees with fruits of all kind and my favourite bananas! I walked slowly and quietly on the soft, smooth, golden sand with Stella next to me. I could see my reflection slightly in the sapphire blue sea as crashed amongst the hard rocks and splashed water into the old, battered boat. I looked up at the indigo blue sky full of fluffy cotton candy clouds. I lay down with Pepsi spotting all the different shaped I could see a car, a bird , the Statue of Liberty and even the Eiffel tower. I couldn’t see a thing because of the sun: it’s hot rays shone into my eyes. The breeze was still around from the storm last night and made the trees whistle and whip there leaves back and forth. I could smell the saltiness from the sea. In the distance I saw a small cave stood as still as a statue. Suddenly, there was a sound coming from the cave so I tip toed closer to the cave, on the shore of the island, trying not to make a slight nose. The more closer I got, the louder the noise became………

    Reply
    • You have used amazing imagery in this writing Holly.
      * I especially like all the description you have included.
      * I like the sentence where you describe what it is like after the storm.
      W) When you are writing a ‘list’ sentence remember to include the commas!

      Reply
  16. Around kensukes kingdom there was a diamond blue sea full of jellyfish, it looked like the island was very dry and the fruit smelled good enough to eat.
    The sun shone bright. You can hear chimpanzees swinging in the palm trees, looking for bananas to eat. It feels good to be here.

    Reply
    • I really enjoyed reading this Lewis but there needs to be more of it so that you can practise your writing skills.
      * I like the way that you have written a compound sentence that uses a comma to spit it up.
      * Your final short sentence is really effective, I too would like to be on that island.
      W) You must remember to use a capital letter when you are writing a proper noun (Kensuke).

      Reply
  17. Slowly, I stepped onto the hot gold sand I was on an island in the middle of nowhere . It was scary being alone .All was quiet , quiet in a horrible way. The island had a rock pool with fresh water .At this point I was getting quite thirsty so I drank some of the water from the rock pool .

    Reply
    • Your writing is really good Ellie but there isn’t enough of it, you need to write more so that you can practise your skills.
      * I like the way you have started with an adverb.
      * The time connective ‘at this point’ works very well in that sentence.
      W) You need to write some sentences that include a subordinate clause.

      Reply
  18. I have been washed up on a deserted island that seems to have nobody around. I could smell the fresh air of the sand swaying around me. The trees are very tall with about 6 coconuts. I could hear patting on the sand (I think it is the Orangutangs moving around!) As i went to sit down the sea was swishing around.

    Reply
    • I like your writing but I wish there had been more of it, you need to write a full paragraph so that you can practise your writing skills.
      * I like the way you have used the verb ‘washed’.
      * Your use of brackets is effective.
      W) You need to use sentences that include a subordinate clause.

      Reply
  19. I got up and i could see the dimond sea,the cotton candy clouds ,but no people.
    The island went on for miels. I looked at the island from a angel.
    I could hear the wind screaming, i could feel the breeze swooshing across my skin.
    The fruit was as sweet as honey, sand as soft as a baby’s bottom.

    Reply
    • This is excellent writing Blake – well done.
      * You’ve included lots of great adjectives.
      * I like the short sentence, it’s very effective.
      W) Try to include a subordinate clause into some of your sentences.

      Reply
  20. Ther was a washed up boy who was called Michael and had never bean on a islond and he heard a stange noise comeing from the back of the islond he was terrified he said to him self I should not of tryed to get my tennise ball I WHANT MY FAMLIY !!!!!

    Reply
    • I really like this writing Rhys.
      * You’ve used a strong adjective ‘terrified’
      * Well done for using capital letters to stress certain words.
      W) Make sure that you have used enough punctuation so that your sentences aren’t too long.

      Reply
  21. I woke up and looked at the great blue sea it seemed like i was on a deserted island but I heard monkeys in the juungle were the wind screemed through the tree’s palm’s. I smelt the sweet sent of some fruit and there was no clouds it was all just blue ther was also caves a realy big beach and a huge jungle with all sorts of noises coming from it.

    Reply
    • * You’ve used superb personification.
      * I like the phrase ‘the sweet scent’.
      W) Take care that your sentences aren’t too long, remember to use commas to break them up into shorter units of meaning.

      Reply
  22. I got swept up on a desert island and it smelt like a DUMPING GROUND!!! like no on lived here and all I could hire is waves smashing against the solied hard rock. It looked like 234 animals lived hire I was as scerd as a mouse getting chasted by a dog or a cat I was terofied that someone would jump out at me but no one did thank god I would of had an heat attack.

    Reply
    • * Well done for including a simile.
      * You’ve used some really powerful verbs like ‘smashing’ and ‘swept’.
      W) You need to use more punctuation to break up your writing into smaller sentences.

      Reply
  23. The island was as big as the tidele waves of the deep blue shaphie sea, the trees were soft bark wood with emaraled green trees the smell of the fresh sea it was like paradise island it was amazing feel a of sand at the bottom of your feet it felt unusually nice under my feet.the bright yellows and greens of fruit it was the best I could live here please don’t take me of this island

    Reply
    • I am so impressed with the description in this writing Mackenzie.
      * You’ve used an excellent simile.
      * I like the way you have referred to each of your senses.
      W) You need to use more punctuation in your writing, these sentences are too long.

      Reply
  24. The sun was smiling brighting then a lightbold and the grass was swaying side to side and all i could see is the saphire, blue see waves jumping up and down.Also the mokes were jumping up a nd dawn.

    Reply
    • * I like the phrase ‘swaying side to side’.
      * What a great expression ‘the sun was smiling’
      W) You need to write more than this. Your paragraphs should be at least 6 sentences long.

      Reply
  25. Hi Everyone,

    Enjoyed reading your blog. I love Michael Morpurgo’s stories too.
    My favourite is ‘King of the Cloud Forests’ – about yetis!
    You might enjoy my blog – brian-moses.blogspot.com – lots of ideas for writing.
    Was in Bolton myself last year for a couple of school visits – stayed by the Reebok stadium – impressive.
    Good wishes,
    Brian Moses

    Reply
  26. It wood be fun beacous you can play with monkeys and have so much fun playing with monkeys and do funny things with them and up setting.

    Reply

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