Kearsley West - Year 5 Blog
Charlotte is a really nice spider that helps Wilbur whenever he cries she tries to cheer him up Wilbur is a really extraordinary he is really nice but he cries a lot Charlotte cheers him up ever since he met her. She was there for him ever since chapter four. The chapter was called loneliness. Ever since that chapter they were friends. Wilbur wanted to escape Mr Zuckerman’s barn the sheep told him he would probably be Mr and Mrs Zuckerman’s Christmas dinner.
Well done, you’ve used some great language features!
Charlotte is an amazing spider. Wilbur is an amazing pig. The old sheep said Wilbur was going to die. Charlotte stopped this by putting “some pig” in her web and waited for larvey to see when he went to feed Wilbur. Larvey showed this to mr zuckerman and he decided not to kill wilbur at Christmas. Wilbur and Charlotte are great friends and always will be
Well done, you’ve used some good adjectives. Please make sure you use capital letters for proper nouns.
Fern is a little girl that looked after Wilbur before he was on Mr Zuckerman’s farm. She was a really nice girl she loved Wilbur so much she visited him probably every week.
Wilbur is a pig who was going to get killed. But then when Fern found out she tried convincing her dad not to kill him he ended up giving it to her. She took good care of him but then they had to sell him they sold him to Fern’s uncle Zuchurman and he didn’t like the barn at first then he got a really good friend called Charlotte. He liked a little better now he’s happy and Fern still sometimes comes to see him
Good description and use of vocabulary. Please remember to end sentences with full stops.
Wilbur is a very interesting person: he is intelligent lint and he also is a good writer. He is a very kind and he is very smart to be a writer of a book.
Well done for using a De: de sentence. What is a lint?
On chapter one, a cute,little pig was born in Fern’s dad’s farm. The dad came out with an axe: it was scary but cool to read the book. Then he was going to kill Wilbur (AKA the little,cute pig) because he was too weak. He become zero to hero like the Hercules film. All the way to chapter nine he tried to spin a web.
Wilbur is a small pig. When he was born Mr Arable wanted to kill the pig but fern said not to she said and said and said until he said fine. She went upstairs crying and then when she came down for dinner she was allowed to keep the pig. She gave it milk and she fed it but it soon had to go outside. When he grew up he had to go to Fern’s uncles farm with all the other animals he always wanted to be with fern. Fern was like his mum to him. he would always wait for fern.
Well done, you’ve remembered the story well and used some good adjectives. Please remember to use a comma after fronted adverbials.
There is a nice family at a farm but they think one pig is to small so they think it’s going to die soon. But the little girl called Fern loves him. She demands them to let her keep him. She names him will our and plays with him every day. She then sells him to the farm across the road. He gets chased but makes it out alive.
Well done, I really like some of your word choices, e.g. demands. Please try to avoid starting sentences with ‘But’.
Wilbur is a very interesting character , He is intelligent kind and funny . Wilbur is a funny little pig he lives on a very very old farm with lots of other animals . Charlotte is a funny old spider who is friendly . Wilbur is as brave as a tiger he’s a funny little pig .
Well done, you’ve used similes and expanded noun phrases. Next time, think about using one of our ‘Exciting Sentences’.
Wilber is a very interesting character, he is a very intelligent little pig, and kind and very funny. Wilber is a pig; he lives on old farm that’s million years old and with lots of other animals who live on the farm and with Wilber too. And Charlotte is a spider, who was very friendly spider and she is Wilber’s friend and she does her best for helping offers.
Well done for using relative clauses! Please try to avoid starting sentences with ‘And’
Wilbur is very kind, interesting and really friendly, he is so clever and is so funny. Wilbur is pig: lives in a old farm with others animals, he has a friend called Charlotte, Charlotte is a spider, is not a bad that want drink the blood of Wilbur she is friendly, Charlotte try her best to help the others, Wilbur is even brave as a lion and kind at the same time with the mother Theresa, Wilbur is funny by his funny things.
Well done, you’ve worked really hard! Next time, try to proofread your work more carefully.
Wilbur is a very interesting character he loves to play and have fun. He lives on a farm with a kind spider named Charlotte. He used to live with a kind girl called Fern. Wilbur is as cute as a teddy bear and as brave as a lion.
Well done, you’ve used some good sentence types here, I especially liked the similes. Try to use more AP sentences next time.
Fern is a sweet girl who has a lovely pig . The pig is called Wilber, Wilber is a pig who loves to skip, dance, jump and to play around. Wilber is as brave as a lion. Fern is a good girl who looks after Wilber a lot. She loves him to bits and so does Wilber. Charlotte is a sweet spider who loves to make webs everywhere.
Well done, you’ve used some good relative clauses. Next time, try to use more AP sentences in your next piece of work.
Wilbur is a small, fat pig who lives in a barn with his friend Charlotte the spider. He tries his best and never gives up only if absolutely thinks it is impossible. He gets three big meals a day and his best friend Fern comes to visit him almost everyday. Charlotte is a spider who has very hairy legs and she lives at the top of Wilbur’s barn.
Well done, you’ve included a lot of description in this paragraph and some good relative clauses. Try to use more varied punctuation, e.g. inverted commas, colons or semi-colons.
Wilbur and Fern are really good friends and Wilful had to give the pig to a different farm and she loved the pig but I love the story.
Well done for completing your blog, and I’m really glad that you’re enjoying the story.
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